When we start ignoring our deepest wishes to please others and seek their approval, and acceptance, parts of us get suppressed and trapped within. Beneath the humdrum of daily life they cry out to be heard, loved, acknowledged and accepted by us, but we never listen. Instead, we judge them and try our best to hide them behind masks, as we seek to follow the crowd so that the crowd and the society may accept us. We do so at the risk of hurting ourselves, and tearing ourselves apart.
Also, if as children we suffer from, helplessness, despair, sudden shock, or trauma, parts of us stick on to the situation, and also to the emotional reactions to the situation. These parts freeze in time and space with those feelings.
All these are the parts, which become our shadow selves, or the shadow inner children, (the Wounded Child, The Orphan Child, or the Invisible Child) never let us move forward and grow wholly in life. These shadow inner children usually lie immersed underneath our worst complexes. They continuously beg to be loved, and accepted.
The painful situations, with the emotions, the inner children are trapped in, keep replaying over and over again within an individual, guiding his actions and reactions right into adulthood. This continues till the time the individual takes the responsibility of his own well-being and starts tending to and healing his inner child.
The common feelings of the shadow inner children are:
• Feeling like a victim
• Feeling unappreciated
• Feeling unloved
• Feeling resentment and anger continuously
• Feeling worthless
• Feeling abandoned and rejected
• Feeling lonely and not understood
• Feeling depressed and broken
• Feeling other’s pains deeply
Some factors, which lead to the creation of shadow inner children, are:
• Any form of abandonment or rejection
• Witnessing domestic violence and parental fights
• Sexual abuse
• Any form of trauma (accidents)
• Mental, emotional, verbal and physical abuse
• Separation from a parental figure (divorce or death)
• Ill-health conditions
Please see the following related topics:
Carl Jung’s Collective Unconscious
Four Major Jungian Archetypes
Some Major Archetypes
What is a Shadow?
Aspects and Traits of Shadow Inner Children
How Does Inner Child Healing Help?